dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
