i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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