My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize