i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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