I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
