I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
