As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
