I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
