I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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