My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
