Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
it's like heaven, but drunker
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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