That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
