well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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