Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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