I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
