so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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