I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
