Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
