on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
