You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im holly from the hills drunk
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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