I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
