one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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