You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I will pee on everything he values.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
