I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
