In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
