what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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