You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
