May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
