when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
