Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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