:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
