so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
