Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
