Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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