At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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