More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
