so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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