she smelled like a LAN party
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize