She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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