So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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