Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
