this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize