Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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