what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
