Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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