party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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