On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
