i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
