i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
