Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
