she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
