so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
