called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
