I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize