Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
