My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
