Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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