wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
do nipples grow back?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
