But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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