Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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