I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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