I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
