I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
