he thought i was a dude.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
