Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
