i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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