...so i touched it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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